Arizona Family Law Lawyers
How To Handle An Overspending Spouse by David Beart
You’ve been careful about money all your life – you’ve paid off your debt, paid yourself first, and amassed sizable savings while doing it. But your spouse is another story. He or she lives for the moment, thinks nothing of buying a $4 coffee or $10 lunch every day, loves to appear generous by always treating friends and family to dinner, or maybe even has significant credit card debt. What can you do to get your finances in synch?
The bad news is that couples’ money habits tend to polarize after they’ve been together awhile. The spender continues to spend, which makes the saver more intent to save–which makes the spender more frenzied to spend. It’s a vicious cycle. And that old cliché about how financial issues are often the biggest reason couples separate isn’t helping.
The good news is that a spender and a saver can find happiness together–all it takes is a little discipline and compromise on both ends. Following are a few tips for finding equilibrium in a financially-unbalanced relationship.
Be kind. This is the building block of all discussions you have with your spouse about money. Chances are, as the saver, you’re proud of your habits and feel like you’re the one who has it together–and your spouse isn’t. This attitude, however, will only make your spouse defensive and less willing to change. Instead of accusing and issuing ultimatums, make your spouse understand that you love them and are trying to help.
If money is a particularly emotional issue between you, sit down with your spouse and have a general discussion about money. Ask your spouse what money means to them–and how they want to feel about money in the next ten or twenty years. See if you can come to some common ground. Then, once you’ve bypassed the emotional pitfalls, look logically with your spouse at their spending habits, debt, and household expenses. Help your spouse see how much that daily $4 cup of coffee will cost over a year’s time.
Have a joint account for bills, and individual accounts for “whatever.” This is one of the most successful ways to manage finances for spender/saver relationships. Open one account in both names. Add up all your bills for each month, including food, utilities, rent or mortgage, school loans, and credit card bills. Add maybe $100 or so more on top of that for discretionary spending, and then split it in half. That’s the amount each of you will put into the joint account every month, rain or shine. You may want to decide on a split other than 50/50 if one partner has significantly more debt than the other.
The rest of your paycheck can go into your individual accounts, and you can both spend it however you want. So if you want to save it all for a dream vacation, that’s fine. And if your spouse wants to blow it every month, that’s fine too. Because your bills are paid for.
Have a spending limit on that joint account. Naturally, you’ll want to be careful with your shared-expense money. Chances are that both of you will sometimes make purchases for the house out of that account. Pick an amount that neither of you are allowed to go over without talking it over. Make sure you frame it so that you (the saver) have to check with your spouse (the spender) just as often as your spouse has to check with you. Make it about mutual accountability, not about who’s more or less responsible with money.
Get that debt under control. If your spouse has significant debt, he or she may need extra help in getting it paid off. Encourage your spouse to talk to a credit counselor if he or she isn’t willing to sit down with you, add up all the debt, and work out a budget. Under most state laws, your spouse’s debt is your debt, and it could affect your credit.
If the problem is serious–see a lawyer. If your spouse refuses to change–or who doesn’t change despite repeated promises to–you may have a larger problem than you can handle on your own. Spending can be an addiction for some people, and may require counseling. In the meantime, your spouse’s credit is your credit–especially if you live in a community-property state. These include California, New Mexico, Idaho, Arizona, Louisiana, Texas, Wisconsin, and Washington. In these states, couples share all debts accumulated after the marriage. You may need to talk to a lawyer to ensure your credit isn’t damaged.
You can help an overspending spouse to rein in his or her spending habits–but you may need to become a little more flexible about money as well along the way. The most important thing is to build some spending flexibility into the budget you work out with your spouse–that way, they’ll always have some freedom to spend and won’t feel trapped. Communication and patience are key to improving any marriage’s finances.
About the Author
David Beart is the owner of http://www.professorshouse.com. This site covers a wide selection of topics including relationships, family, cooking and other household issues.
Restraining Order Lawyer / Attorney in Phoenix, Arizona
|
|
Point Made: How to Write Like the Nation’s Top Advocates $17.30 With Point Made, legal writing expert Ross Guberman throws a life preserver to attorneys, who are under more pressure than ever to produce compelling prose. What is the strongest opening for a motion or brief? How to draft winning headings? How to tell a persuasive story when the record is dry and dense? The answers are “more science than art,” says Guberman, who has analyzed stellar arguments by … |
|
|
The ethical family lawyer: A practical guide to avoiding professional dilemmas $273.88 … |
|
|
The Social Responsibilities of Lawyers by Liebman, Lance M. Heymann, Philip B. Edition , 0 $11.49 Lawyers and Clients: Legal Services and Family Law; Lawyer Roles: Lawyers for Political Movement, Lawyers for Ordinary People, Lawyers for Criminal Defendants, Lawyers for Wall Street, Lawyers for Government; Lawyer Responsibilities in the Adversary System: Zealous Advocacy, Expenses of Advocacy, Lawyer Lobbyists, Sanctioning Lawyers. |
|
|
Lawyers and Fidelity to Law $24.29 Even lawyers who obey the law often seem to act unethically–interfering with the discovery of truth subverting justice and inflicting harm on innocent people. Standard arguments within legal ethics attempt to show why it is permissible to do something as a lawyer that it would be wrong to do as an ordinary person. But in the view of most critics these arguments fail to turn wrongs into rights. Even many lawyers think legal ethics is flawed because it does not accurately describe the considerable moral value of their work. In Lawyers and Fidelity to Law Bradley Wendel introduces a new conception of legal ethics that addresses the concerns of lawyers and their critics alike. Wendel proposes an ethics grounded on the political value of law as a collective achievement that settles intractable conflicts allowing people who disagree profoundly to live together in a peaceful stable society. Lawyers must be loyal and competent client representatives Wendel argues but these obligations must always be exercised within the law that constitutes their own roles and confers rights and duties upon their clients. Lawyers act unethically when they treat the law as an inconvenient obstacle to be worked around and when they twist and distort it to help their clients do what they are not legally entitled to do. Lawyers and Fidelity to Law challenges lawyers and their critics to reconsider the nature and value of ethical representation. |
|
|
The Rule of Lawyers $4.99 Big-ticket litigation is a way of life in this country. But something new is afoot – something typified by the $246 billion tobacco settlement, and by courtroom assaults that have followed against industries ranging from HMOs to gunmakers, from lead paint manufacturers to “factory farms.” Each massive class-action suit seeks to invent new law, to ban or tax or regulate something that elected lawmakers had chosen to leave alone. And each time the new process works as intended, the new litigation elite reaps billions in fees – which they invest in fresh rounds of suits, as well as political contributions. The Rule of Lawyers asks: Who picks these lawyers, and who can fire them? Who protects the public’s interest when settlements are negotiated behind closed doors? Where are our elected lawmakers in all this? The answers may determine whether we slip from the rule of law to the rule of lawyers. |
|
|
Lawyers and the Rule of Law in an Era of Globalization by Dezalay, Yves; Garth, Bryant Edition ILL, 1 $45.56 Lawyers and the Rule of Law in an Era of Globalization focuses on the national and transnational processes transforming both the rule of law and the role of lawyers. |
|
|
Developing a Collaborative Family Law Practice: Leading Lawyers on Exploring Collaborative Law, Integrating It into a Practice, and Implementing Marketing Strat $87.75 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Environmental Law for Non-Lawyers by Firestone, David B. Reed, Frank C. Edition , 2 $23.49 Environmental Law for Non-Lawyers. Firestone, David B. Reed, Frank C. |
|
|
Lawyers 2012 Desk Calendar $13.99 Practicing law is a tough profession. From pushy clients to overbearing judges to hostile witnesses—lawyers have it rough. Luckily the Lawyers: Jokes Quotes and Anecdotes 2012 Day-to-Day Calendar guarantees to add laughs to their otherwise arduous days. Filled with witty jokes, bizarre laws, |
|
|
Strategies for Family Law in Florida, 2011 Ed : Leading Lawyers on Educating Clients, Handling Divorce Cases, and Navigating Emerging Issues in Family Law (Insi $76.44 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Strategies for Family Law in New York, 2012 Ed : Leading Lawyers on Navigating Changing Family Law Trends, Developing Effective Strategies, and Building Client $78 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Family Law by Welstead, Mary; Edwards, Susan Edition , 3 $30.49 The Core Text Series takes the reader straight to the heart of the subject, providing a reliable and invaluable guide for students of law at all levels. Written by leading academics, and renowned for their clarity, these concise texts explain the intellectual challenges of each area of the law. Family Law enables students to develop a clear understanding of the law itself, and an insight into the tensions that surround family life in all its incarnations. The complex personal relations between adults, children, and the State, are all fully explored, highlighting the controversial issues which face family lawyers today. Clearly written and presented, Family Law incorporates chapter summaries and self-test questions to highlight key topics for discussion and reflection, and selected reading lists for those wishing to conduct further research. Online Resource Centre Updates Web links |
|
|
Latin for Lawyers: The Language of the Law $32.13 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Law Dictionary for Non-Lawyers $32.13 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
The Law and Lawyers of Pickwick $12.67 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Lawyers and Law Courts $12.19 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Lawyers, Law, and Social Change $18.52 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
The Law and Lawyers of Pickwick: A Lecture $24.37 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Soul of the Law : Understanding Lawyers and the Law $22.38 No Synopsis Available |
